1.Square
1. “Only 1% of seventh-grade friendships are still intact in 12th grade, and more than two-thirds of friendships shift during the first year of middle school” (Fagell). This quote stuck out to me a lot because I remember my friend group falling apart half way through high school and it was devastating but knowing we all grew apart from each other for development ad better reasons was important and who I am today.
2. “If your daughter is wounded that a classmate didn’t invite her to a birthday party, for instance, you might want to remind her that she didn’t invite that kid to her party” (Fagell). This quote makes me laugh a little bit because I remember days like these! Not being invited somewhere where everyone seems to be is about the end of the world! Reading this really makes me see how young adolescents grow and mature as I was one myself not too long ago so, all this information and feelings are still fresh to me.
3. “Kids can become hyper-focused on the idea that everyone has to be a best friend, but the floaters are the most successful when they get to high school, because they can enter a new group” (Fagell). To this day this is something I experienced and regret! All throughout elementary, junior high, and high school I really only associated myself with one person and my gymnastics team, that way when I got to high school, I wasn’t open to new friends and was close minded about making new friends. I wish I branched out more to new people to allow myself for more experiences!
4. "School districts need to support programs that interrupt negative peer interactions, particularly bullying, that impedes the healthy development of youth. Schools can also ensure young adolescents ‘access to student government, service clubs, or other leadership groups that allow them to develop their own projects and guidelines for behavior" (Kellough & Kellough, 2008). Believe it or not, this is something I experienced in school and am grateful for! I attended schools that closely monitored its students and friend groups to make sure students were in healthy friendships even mentally okay! Once a month we would have a school wide assembly to remind students about good choices and good friends in order to create a more accepting and healthy school environment! I think something like this should be done everywhere at eveyr school, maybe to an even bigger extent!
2. Triangle
1. “Validate your children’s sorrow, share your own social setbacks and ask them what they gained through having experienced the friendship, whether good or bad” (Fagell). My parents are very loving people but also portray their love to me as tough love so when and if a friendship of mine ended it was always “you’ll be okay ad make new friends” when in reality I was probably deep down inside really hurting. Parents need to be more aware of this and stoop down to their children’s level to really better understand them and their feelings, it will go a long way!
2. ‘‘Tweens often need help managing conflict, but parents can make a situation bigger and more stressful if they begin texting other parents. Parents may take things personally if they have their own painful memories of rejection” This is something I never thought about and even was an Ah-ha moment for me! parents should realize especially in middle school or high school that their children need to fight their own battles in order to grow as a person and learn to rely on themselves.
3. “While examining these developmental characteristics of young adolescents, two cautions warrant consideration. First, developmental characteristics are overlapping and interrelated; each affects another characteristic” (Caskey, Anfara). To me this is the reason why young teens and adolescents feel stressed 24/7 and even develop mental health issues. All these emotions and changes are bubbling up and they are not sure how to handle it all! As I was a teen myself, I totally remember feeling the wight on my shoulders and I was going through emotional and physical changes, specifically middle school into high school.
3. Circle
1. ‘‘10 to 15-year-olds, experience rapid and significant developmental change. Understanding and responding to the unique developmental characteristics of young adolescents is central among the tenets of middle level education” (Caskey, Anfara). Why is this not something we educate out tweens on? I feel that if we educated them on these changes, they would be less likely to feel discouraged or confused about their life changes. I can only hope to teach this in my classroom briefly to eliminate the stress these teens already have.
2. “Schools can support physical development by offering responsive educational opportunities for young adolescents. Among these opportunities are health and science curricula that describe and explain physical changes (Kellough & Kellough). I immediately stopped in my tracks when I read this and for two reasons, because my point above discusses and asks why we don’t teach out students the changes they are going through, and the second reason being that researchers know that it would minimize stress due to changes if teachers/schools discussed I more, so then, why isn’t it discussed? All the years I was in school I never was taught about changes in life, friendships, and becoming your own person and I think it would have made a major impact and kept me from stress and even anxiety or depression.
I think you are absolutely right Madison that young adolescents (and their parents) need more education on YA development. This is a great thing to use advisory time for and you might hold onto important books or articles that you can share with families on your website. Thanks for a thoughtful post. I can tell you are thinking through the ideas and making connections with your future teaching but also learning from your own school experiences.
Educating students on the changes they go through 10-15 years old (even after) is something that was very briefly discussed in my schooling. I agree they should be taught more as students at that age undergo difficulties with their sense of self. It is important they understand their identities are not cemented and will likely change in the future. Because of this, they need to be better prepared for the struggles they will endure as young adolescents and adolescents so they can find peace in themselves.